I just do, ok

I don’t need to explain myself to you

Because

Just because, that’s why

Shut up

http://mel-o-dramaticnz.blogspot.com/

Why is it that women’s nipples are considered offensive but men’s nipples aren’t?
They will blur women’s nipples on TV but men can wander around topless and it’s fine.

I actually find it offensive that it is assumed that women’s nipples are a sexual thing!!!!! Surely they are no more sexual then men’s - in fact they should be considered less sexual because at least women have a reason to have nipples!!!!

AND why blur nipples anyway? Surely everyone has nipples and seeing them on TV is hardly the most exciting thing in the world - and children probably see more nipples than adults do.

It makes me mad!!!!

I am currently attempting to lose weight/fat/flab/whatever you want to call it. So I am following the weight watchers points plan. That means I get 21 points a day and have to find out how many points are in each thing I eat. It is now day 6 and so far, so good. I am not getting hungry and am eating delicious food. Last night we had pumpkin and basil risotto for dinner! Yum!!!

My main thing is making sure I drink heaps of water and also less snacking. Especially in the evening, after dinner, watching TV …………

I am aiming to lose about 15 - 20kg. I would like to lose it by the end of April - so that’s only about 1kg a week - I’m sure I can do it!

So I’m 30, Joshua will be 2 months in a couple of days and Harrison turns 4 this year. (Also some people I know *cough* mum and dad *cough* turn 50 this year.)

Also we have a giant baby. Joshua was weighed and measured last Monday and he is now 5.86kg and about 60cm long. Which would be fine if he was 3 months old. Which he isn’t.

Fatty.

At what stage do so called “stocking fillers” and “stocking stuffers” just become ridiculous? According to recent mailers a 42L fish bin is a stocking filler and an electric crepe maker is a stocking stuffer.

Somebody out there must have a giant stocking!

from a bodybuilder on TV “I’ve got one word for you and one word alone, Arnold Schwarzenegger.”

So in less than a month I turn 30.

I am reminded of The Gatekeeper - from the Nightmare board game - who says “I’d like to play with the old one now…… how … old … are you? …………….. That old? ………. You smell muuuuuch older.”

If you’ve never played the game you won’t get the whole voice in your head like I do when I think about it.

Anyway, it is once again going to be my birthday and I need to organise something for it. I was thinking a bbq lunch type thing at Dylan’s parent’s place. With eating and drinking and much making of merry.

I have to decide who to invite and then how I am going to feed them all. It won’t be on my actual birthday (as usual) but sometime in January I think.

Earlier this year Dylan and I went to the food show. I stopped at the Richfields stand and sampled some of their delicious chocolate. I was so taken with the Wild Mint Dark Chocolate that I bought a bar. Quite soon after that I researched the foods I should be avoiding to attempt to stop my acid indigestion and one of the foods was chocolate. So the chocolate bar went away in the pantry to wait until after I had Joshua.

Then I went up North for a week or so. One night, talking on the phone to Dylan, I found out that he had eaten the entire chocolate bar and had been going to replace it (so I would never know) but was unable to find them anywhere. So after I came back the hunt was on.

Sadly it would appear that although most supermarkets stock some Richfields chocolate, none on the North Shore or the CBD stock the Wild Mint flavour.

So I emailed Richfields and told them the story and asked where I could find the chocolate. And they, kindly, sent me 2 free chocolate bars that I received yesterday!!!

So a big thank you to Richfields - excellent customer service and really good, rich chocolate!

I am the happiest mummy in the world because Joshua gave me his first real smile this morning. He has smiled before (wind!) but this was a real one with smiley eyes and everything. And all I had to do was lean over him, in his moses basket, and say (in my best mummy voice which is not the same mummy voice as the one that uses full names eg “Harrison Marcus Reeve, WHAT do you think you are doing?” - that is the scary mummy voice) “Good morning boo boo. Did you wake up?”. It should be noted that asking obvious questions and not expecting answers is part of mummy voice. It should also be noted that I have started calling him boo boo - I have no idea why. I just do it anyway.

So I have been discussing with mothers who have given birth the usual way (ie not through the sunroof) and there is this moment that I had forgotten. When you have just spent a while puffing and panting and crying the head out slowly and then you push out the shoulders and suddenly there’s this weird squiggly, slippery thing sliding out of you - and it is one of the strangest feelings ever.

Well that and having your waters break!!! I was in the middle of a contraction and I felt a sudden pain and it felt like something broke inside me - and what do you know - it had. Honestly - gross.

Also, if you have no children and are planning on having them, you should know that when they examine you to see how far dilated you are they shove a hand up inside you. Just a warning. There’s no dinner, no movies, not even flowers. Just a hand inside you.

Mind you by that stage you have obviously dealt with having more than just a hand inside you, so maybe you won’t mind too much.

Oh yeah and giving birth is messy and very painful, even with drugs.